September 26, 2010

If you are a food in my refridgerator...

"Oh no!” The foods in refrigerator groaned. Libbi had gone grocery shopping, which meant some of them would have to go to… the dumpster. The dumpster was the most dreaded place, when a food went there, it never came back. “Maybe she’ll get rid of stinky!” said the baby carrots. Stinky, the mashed potatoes that time forgot, replied in a weary voice, “I bet you’ll be singing a different tune in a few months, when you are all slimy.” The viscous chicken casserole, Carla, said with annoyance, “Give them a break stinky, you’re just bitter and old!” followed by a shrewd laugh. Stinky replied, “Well you’re not as young as you used to be either! Why are you taking their side?” “Yeah! Us older foods have to stick together!” the fried squash said with a southern accent. “While you two are not getting any younger and flaccid, I still feel spry and youthful!” defended the casserole. “That’s funny,” chortled Stinky, “You sure don’t look it!” Stinky and Frieda, the fried squash, broke into a guffawing fit.

“That was so funny, that I’m not laughing.” said Carla sarcastically. Then trying to make herself seem younger, she made fun of the decaying sour cream, “At least I don’t have a fungi clinging to me!” Mushy, as the sour cream was named, was hurt by this comment. After all, it wasn’t her fault a little blue thing liked her! Although Carla raged on about how grotesque Mushy was, Mushy said nothing to defend herself. “Cut it out Carla!” said Stinky, “She can’t help it!” Mushy wanted to grow legs and retreat from the scene. Finally, Stinky got Carla to say sorry.

“Here she comes!” said Stinky, Frieda, Carla, and Mushy unanimously. The pickles said disagreeably, “At least she won’t throw us away, we stay young forever!” “Be careful what you wish for!” said the elongated string cheese slowly, “Life in this refrigerator is boring, uninteresting, and dreary.” Libbi shoved her hand into the refrigerator, grabbed the lettuce, and threw it in boiling water for her tadpoles. “Good for him!” said Stinky, “He doesn’t have to be thrown out!” Next, She grabbed Stinky, “Goodbye everyone!” He said sadly, and without hope. But much to his surprise, she didn’t throw him into the trash can, since leftover potatoes make great potato pancakes! He was so jovial, that when he got in the pan, he did a flip! Next she grabbed Frieda, and instead of throwing her out, she heated her up in the microwave. He said to Frieda, “Good work! Neither of us will go to the dumpster!”

Libbi opened the refrigerator and grabbed the carrots. “Yuck!” she said to herself. Frieda and Stinky had failed to realize that the carrots had some mold in the bottom of their bag, and unlike the sour cream, it could not be scooped out. “No!” they shouted desperately as they were thrown into the trash bag. Then, much to their surprise, Libbi picked up Carla and threw her in the trash also. “Bless her lil heart!” said Frieda, “She never saw it coming.” “No one does.” Stinky replied sadly. “I guess you never can tell with casseroles and carrots!”Then from the recesses of the refrigerator, Stinky could faintly hear rejoicing as Mushy gleefully sang, “Oh Happy Day.”

September 12, 2010

A Day in the Life of my Pencil

*One of the papers I wrote for Creative Writing, enjoy :)

September 1st, 2010

Dear diary,

Today was awful! I was awakened abruptly by my proprietor, Elizabeth Hartwig; I was all warm and cozy in my dappled quiescent case. She pulled me out, her hand slipped, and I plummeted onto the floor. She picked me up, and started to strangle me! She was taking notes or something. I looked up at her teacher and recognized that it was Ms. Smart. I knew this since my innocent carcass had been squeezed to scribe the words, “Ms. Smart”. My owner doesn’t even care about me. She wrote a narrative about an unintelligent, irrelevant, “French” fry that lies about his identity, “French” fries actually came from Belgium. She cared enough about him to write a story, when I am just a petty nonentity? Am I that mind-numbing? I always felt beautiful; while most pencils are yellow, I am aureate.

Next we went to a class called “Christian Worldview” which was terrible; she kept pushing my neck, until finally, the lead in my head broke. I thought to myself, “Finally I can get some shuteye” And then to my horror, she shaved my head! She took out her pencil razor, and just buzzed me clean! I was going to be the laughing stock of the pencil case! By this time, I had a gargantuan headache, if only she could give it a massage! When all this was happening, was there any sympathy? No! She just kept putting pressure on me! It was dreadful. Finally she put away her notebook and me. Time for a little amount of sleep, I thought to myself as she put me in my slumbering case. No sooner had she put me away then one of her friends said, “Hey Libbi, your next class is in this room too, right?” My heart sank as Libbi said,” Hey! You’re right!”

To my delight, her friend asked if she could borrow a pencil, I was so excited, finally someone who didn’t push me so hard! It was so stimulating! She pressed lightly on me, and had perfect handwriting. After a while though, I began to think, have these people even learned how to spell? I wanted to tell Libbi’s friend that “survey” is spelled with an “e”. Unfortunately, no one regarded my guidance, and alas, I was returned to my owner; although pushy, an impeccable speller.

We had arrived at Human Anatomy class; I had been dreading this all day. Not only does she have to illustrate cells and nuclei, she colors them in too! What did this mean for me? More pressure, more sharpening, and all the enormous circles made me nauseous. She started with a circular cell, and then a globular nucleus, and a spherical organelle, I winced while I felt the dizziness coming on. What did she do next? She started rapidly circling her homework assignment. And she kept circling, and circling, and circling. All the while I’m feeling more nauseous, and more nauseous. What is she trying to do to me? All of a sudden she turns me upside down to wipe off one of her errors. That was the final straw. However, it is hard to have a final straw when you’re only 7 inches tall, and growing more petite by the minute. So I just frowned and went on with it. Then, My master heard her teacher say,”Lunchtime”, and she shoved me, along with her notebook and other omnifarious school supplies into her backpack. Fortunately for me, I fell out of her backpack, which meant I would have one week of absolute freedom, Yippee! Then again, I’m a bit jealous of the computer she is probably using for her assignments. In truth, it hasn’t been the worst day a pencil could have. In fact, I think I will miss being used, I feel so, useless! Oh well. At least it’s only a week!

A Couple Papers from CHESS

Hey Everyone! it's been a while since I posted, and since I've been to busy to write out an entire post, I am going to post a few papers I wrote from CHESS. A couple fiction and one non-fiction. On another note, I am loving CHESS, and I think right now my favorite class is NT survey, but that may change :) My schedule right now is:
8:15 Creative Writing
9:15 Christian Worldview
10:15 NT(New Testament) Survey
11:15 Human Anatomy
12:15 Lunch
1:00 Soccer( as a teacher's aide)
2:15 Volleyball

I am definitely loving my classes, I have a ton of homework, but I don't mind it :)
Anyways, How does everyone like the new background? Pretty much awesomeness :) Please let me know what you think of my papers :)