May 31, 2017

Five Reasons to Marry a Calvinist

Nearly five months ago, I married a Calvinist. GASP. I am most definitely the least confrontational person you’ll meet, and I had pledged my life to someone whose theology was debated openly. I mean, there are entire Facebook pages dedicated to just debating Calvinism. Yet, after five months of attending a Calvinist church, five months of asking a myriad of questions to my dear husband, and after reading Romans 9 more times than necessary, I have come to believe that everyone should marry a Calvinist. Though the reasons are many, here are my top five:

  1. Theology
Calvinists, by nature, are theologians with references. Feel free to question what they believe because they will most likely have a bible-based answer. My husband Kris loves theology more than almost anyone I know. That may be due to the fact that he is a calvinist, or it could just be that he is incredible. Or both.
Now, there is much debate about the correct interpretation of theology, but rest assured that no one loves theology as much as a Calvinist, while I am sure that there are Calvinists who love theology more than they love God, in my limited experience, they genuinely are studying the Bible to see the beauty of Jesus.

  1. Unpretentiousness
My husband is one of the most humble people ever. No really. The knowledge of total depravity, and complete reliance on God should mark every Calvinist with humility. Last summer, as Kris and I were discussing our views on theology I didn’t even know existed (Like did God cause the fall? I have no idea. I never even thought of that question) I was amazed at how gently he answered, and how often he quoted scripture. Like, I know scripture, but he KNOWS scripture. He was never harsh, never acted like a know-it-all, and was always super attractive.
Keep in mind, if you marry someone who loves the Bible, then you better not quote anything out of context. Unless you’re a really funny wife who quotes things out of context when your husband is studying to distract him… What a benefit, to marry someone who really does treasure the Word. Oh, the joy of having someone who is not afraid to question wrong interpretations of scripture, all in the pursuit of living out Psalms 27:4.

  1. Library-enthusiasts
Need a free date night? No one will appreciate a well-stocked library more than a Calvinist. Be forewarned however, if your library doesn’t stock enough books on the desert fathers, or is lacking in selection of books authored by Charles Spurgeon, you will have a very very very short date.

  1. Incredible Focus
Obviously, anyone who reads books by ancient authors is bound to be a very focused person. Calvinists are constantly digging into new learning material, articles, blogs, books, youtube sermons, you name it. Sometimes I’ll read Kris’s theology books over his shoulder, and I recognize maybe half the words. Ok, that’s a bit of an exaggeration, but still, when we go to the library, I go to the fiction section, and Kris goes to the “Obscure authors from the 1200s” section.
Calvinists are really good at concentrating, and as a result, are usually incredibly articulate, especially when explaining to you why the movie “Luther” is not only a valid date-night option, but also a far superior  choice, as opposed to popular rom-com “While You Were Sleeping.” Sigh.
  1. Piper is a Calvinist
John Piper is a like, 15 or 16 point Calvinist I think (Kris said he is actually just a 7 point Calvinist, but I don’t remember it that way). That’s more than enough reason to marry a Calvinist. Don’t believe me? Listen to this sermon jam

Now, I must be fair. I have met many people of God who love the Bible, and are full of humility, and were as far away from John Calvin as Paul was (I’m just making a joke all you who are about to start throwing epistles at me) and they would be great matches too. Really, the utmost desire in our hearts should be to see the beauty of Christ. If we are able to marry someone who also desires to see His glory on the earth, then BOOM. Match made in heaven (or not, if you don’t believe in “the one”) So go my dear friends and marry a sweet Calvinist, although I already got the best one.


Cheryl Lauer said...

Fantastical....(is that a word???) I love this! You are my favorite BLOGGER!

The Philologist said...

This is such a sweet tribute...and funny, too! I'm so glad I got to meet both of you this year, and look forward to many more good times and great discussions. I'm equally willing to discuss obscure authors from the 1200s and girly things. ;)

~Elisabeth H.